Haunter once again reminds me how fun it can be to go into a movie knowing literally nothing about it. I remember hearing positive things about the movie last year and it had a very, very brief run at my local cheap theatre but I had largely forgotten about it until I saw it while browsing Netflix. Having just watched The Pact I wasn’t sure I wanted to go into another ghost story this quickly but figured I would start watching it and then decide whether I wanted to keep going. Haunter then proceeded to grab me by the throat and ensure that I would be sticking with it until the very end.
The pull quote for this movie on the blu ray case reads “Alien underwater!” That quote did not instill me with a whole lot of confidence in this movie. Is that seriously the best thing they could find to put on the cover? That’s not even praise for the movie technically; it’s just a very concise summary of it. It would be like if Edge of Tomorrow (or I’m sorry, Live Die Repeat, fucking idiots…) had “Sci-Fi Groundhog Day!” as its choice cover quote. That isn’t anything! This could be grim.
The final five seconds of this movie is currently blowing my mind in about a thousand different ways. Just….what?! I jumped, I laughed, I got ridiculously confused. That….what….I don’t even know how to talk about this movie. I am certainly glad that I watched it but in this moment I honestly can’t even say if I liked it or not.
I always see the poster for The Pact while browsing Netflix and always have a moment’s pause where I think I should fire it up but inevitably I always end up passing it up for Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Man vs Food or Kitten Party or whatever other nonsense I tend to watch on Netflix. Not this time though! This time I saw the poster and I clicked the damn button and I watched the whole damn thing! Turns out, it was pretty worth my time!
After putting this movie aside in order to watch Day 6’s Kill List, I was finally ready to return to the world of giant mutant octopus things attacking Ireland, which it turns out is indeed exactly what Grabbers is all about. It’s a very intriguing premise and I’m happy to report that the movie itself makes good on this initial promise.
Yeah I already know that I’m not going to have a whole lot to say about this one. The Hammer monster movies are an area of horror I’ve always meant to dive into further. I believe I saw one of their Frankenstein movies (can’t recall which one now) a few years back and thought it was pretty decent so I’m surprised I didn’t keep going. Anyway I picked this movie up on bluray earlier this year based solely on reading how amazing it was that this film was actually getting a solid bluray release.
I’m not sure I get why people were so excited for this one.
I don’t cover nearly enough 80’s slasher movies during these marathons so let’s correct that right now with this oddity from another one of my Scream Factory discs. I find with the slasher genre it’s going to go one of two ways; surprisingly watchable or the worst thing you have ever seen. I tend to mostly end up with the latter so imagine my surprise when X-Ray (or Hospital Massacre as it’s apparently more commonly referred to as) plops itself in the former category, though perhaps with a foot or a leg still lingering in the latter one.
I reviewed The Conjuring on here last year and as I’m positive you read that review you know how fond I was of that movie. James Wan, at least until he moved over to the Fast and Furious world, was killing it in the horror genre. I loved both The Conjuring and Insidious (its sequel was merely good) and maintain that Dead Silence is severely underrated (as is Death Sentence which isn’t exactly horror). Sadly Wan is only a producer on this one. Add that to how quickly they pumped this movie out in an effort to keep The Conjuring brand alive and well as they work on the sequel and I didn’t have a lot of hope for this one.
King Kong Escapes is the sort of movie that almost makes me feel like a dick for enjoying it because I know it’s not due to it being a legitimately good movie. Exactly the opposite in fact. I’m mostly enjoying it because of how little of the movie holds up. I’m enjoying the primitive effects and goofy costumes. I’m enjoying the obvious miniatures and dolls that make up much of the practical effects. I suppose the fact that I’m enjoying it at all is what’s important but I still can’t help but feel like a jerk that most of that enjoyment derives from “ha! Look at that cheap effect!”
I never actually saw Cabin Fever 2 but I heard enough about it to know I shouldn’t be upset about that fact. Plus with Patient Zero being billed as a prequel/quasi-reboot of the franchise, I figured it was ok to skip straight here. I haven’t seen the first Cabin Fever since it was in theatres but to its credit I certainly remember a lot of the ickier moments. The leg shaving scene stayed with me for a very long time and “pancakes!” was pretty fucking insane so that one has remained stuck in my craw as well.
Outside of maybe one scene, Cabin Fever: Patient Zero is not likely to stay in my memory past the next 24 hours.