When I was originally making this list and trying to make sure I hadn’t missed any obvious choices, a couple of people mentioned Saving Private Ryan as it’s “the best war movie ever made.” Alas I knew I already had that idea covered because in my eyes, Full Metal Jacket is in fact the best war movie ever made.
The first half is of course the best, showing the soldiers going through training with Gunnery Sergeant Hartman played spectacularly by R.Lee Ermey. This character throws out so many amazing insults so quickly it’s hard to keep up. While the second half of the movie, where they are actually in Vietnam, can’t hold a candle to the first hour, it’s still loaded with great moments and performances. Ridiculously funny but also harshly disturbing, Full Metal Jacket is my pick for best war movie. Unless I’m allowed to count In the Army Now. Then it would be close.
As a lover of both action movies and the 80’s, I of course am a huge fan of 80’s action movies (along with early to mid-90’s ones as well). Commando is basically the ultimate 80’s action movie and may in fact be one of the most fun movie watching experiences of all time.
It’s definitely the ultimate Schwarzenegger movie (pretty sure I just spelled his name right on my first try with no reference so I’m feeling pretty good right now) with 90% of his dialogue just being pure one-liner, each one of them absolute cheesy greatness. Combine that with a ridiculous villain, almost non-stop crazy action and a death count that must approach 1000 people, and you have yourself unfiltered awesome in movie form.
I don’t know if it’s because like Kevin Smith there was a time (and it still somewhat holds true) where I really wanted to make movies, or because I can really relate to the shitty people you have to deal with when working at a movie rental store, but I really dig Clerks. I guess it could also be that it’s really funny and good. Yeah it’s probably mostly that last thing.
Kevin Smith doesn’t always make it easy to like him but his debut is a classic in my eyes (and I have quite an affinity for Mallrats as well for the record). It has a great script at the centre that was incredibly easy for me to relate to and while my position in life is very different now, I can still appreciate it. The characters are memorable and the movie isn’t afraid to go to some pretty fucked up places. I still go back to this one every couple of years and it always delivers. BERZERKER!
That’s right. Not only is one of my favourite movies a Friday the 13th movie, but one of the sequels. And a later sequel at that! This is the first entry on the list that I feel I should really explain.
Back in the summer of ’98 I decided to get more into the horror genre and I jumped straight in by buying a VHS copy of this movie. Then I decided to check out the rest of the Friday movies. Then the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Then the Halloween movies. And so on. In fact, the majority of that summer was spent renting horror movies from the local rental place that clearly didn’t care I was far too young to watch these movies. My friends and I would stay up all night watching them, often while at a cottage, so even better! It was a fantastic summer and thanks to this movie, the horror genre was opened to me.
So yes a lot of this movie’s appeal to me is nostalgia but I can still watch it today and enjoy the hell out of it. Besides, it’s not the 30 best movies, its my 30 personal favourites, so y’all can eat a dick!
I have never jumped on the Tom Cruise hate train. Do I agree with the man’s politics? I do not. But I certainly can’t deny that the man makes movies that entertain the hell out of me. It is seriously hard for me to name a Cruise movie that I feel is bad. Knight and Day. Ok so it’s not that hard but if I had to name five it would take me way longer!
Minority Report is definitely up there amongst his best….clearly since I put it on this list. The idea of the movie, stopping crimes before they happen, is handled very well with each side of the argument well represented. The action is non-stop and it all happens within one of the best sci-fi worlds that has ever been realized. This movie also shaped the way every human being on the planet wants computers to work. Sure the final 20 minutes aren’t the best, but for me it doesn’t taint any of the greatness that comes before it.
Also if you’re like me and can’t get enough of Tom Cruise running, this will be like porn for you.
I was going to put the series as a whole but apparently that’s cheating and also I only really like a few of them, with the others ranging from entertaining to kind of terrible. There was no way this series wasn’t going to be represented on this list and while I may be the most entertained by Nightmare 3, there’s no denying the first is the best film. It has a genius concept (dude kills dudes in their dreams, sometimes makes silly jokes) and executes on it terrifically. It gave birth to one of the most memorable horror villains, still holds up as being a genuinely scary movie and is full of iconic scenes and moments. You also get the debut performance of Mr. Johnny Depp, which means we can thank this movie for Edward Scissorhands and also be pissed at it for Alice in Wonderland. Still though, an undeniable classic!
Just don’t watch the remake. Oh dear GOD, please don’t watch the remake.
You ever watch a VHS tape so much that you eventually ruin it? Because I sure have! Back when I first discovered Weird Al’s UHF I would rent it damn near every week until we finally found a copy at a local flea market. I watched that shit daily (I was like 8 or 9, gimme a break), then weekly, then probably annually. I’ve probably seen this movie start to finish more than any other and it is still great. The only reason it’s this low on the list is that adult me doesn’t love it quite as much as child me, as now I can see not all the jokes work. But the ones that do, oh man.
Seriously there are so many memorable bits in this movie. Conan the Librarian, Wheel of Fish, Raoul’s Wild Kingdom, the fire hose, and the list literally just keeps right on going. It’s the shining example of silly humour done well. It won’t be for everyone, but for those of us in the know, it’s wondrous.
Every few years, usually when it’s released on a new format, I revisit The Sandlot and always think “I hope it’s still as good as I remember.” And it’s always better! The Sandlot is the ultimate sports movie, the ultimate family movie, and really just the ultimate movie. It’s funny, it’s quotable, it’s drenched in nostalgia, full of memorable characters and young Denis Leary is always good for a few points. The child actors are charming, natural and never obnoxious. It also has the best puke scene in the history of cinema, even better than Stand By Me in my opinion.
Is it a bummer to know Scotty Smalls grows up and gets arrested for beating up a cop? Eh, kinda. But the movie is still fantastic and will always remain a classic.
Holy shit I made it! I can’t believe I did this whole horror movie marathon thing for the second time and actually saw it through until the end once more! For those of you out there who are considering one of these marathons, let me just say that they start out fun and exciting and then by the end you’re less “Alrighty! What am I going to review today?” and more “Fuuuuuuuuck I still need to review something today. AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” So just keep that in mind.
I wanted to wrap things up with Basket Case 2 as it’s my first donation (Thanks Joe!) and I quite enjoyed the first movie when I watched it last week. I knew nothing about the sequel but the front of the DVD made it seem like shit was about to way crazier.
Holy lord does shit ever get way crazier.
Alas today’s review is likely going to be pretty short because I honestly don’t have a whole lot to say about this one. Plus my god this is the 30th one of these I’ve done in a row so don’t I deserve a bit of a break?
The Evictors came packaged along with the bluray of The Town That Dreaded Sundown that I picked up earlier this year. I think this may be the first time the movie has been released on DVD so apparently it’s a pretty big deal. I didn’t expect too much since my assumption was that Shout Factory felt it wasn’t worthy of its own release so they piggy backed it onto a different movie, even if it is done by the same director.
Turns out it’s a decent, if perhaps unremarkable, little thriller.