Finally I get to bust out of the other half of my Peter Fonda double bill disc that started in the May action movie marathon with Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry. I wasn’t sure if Race with the Devil technically counted as a horror movie but I knew it had a cult and I knew Kevin Smith was always talking about how scary it is so I figured why not.
My god there are six Wrong Turn movies. Six! The Wrong Turn franchise has made it up to its sixth installment! Even crazier is that I have actually seen every one of them. Let me break down my thoughts real quick since I have never actually talked about any of them on the site before. My thoughts on each Wrong Turn movie are as follows: 1 – decent enough, watchable, love me some Eliza Dushku 2 – slightly more enjoyable than the first, 3 – slightly less enjoyable than the first, 4 – I have no memories of this one so that doesn’t bode well for it, 5 – ugly, ugly movie with few redeeming qualities. So there you have it. Outside of the second movie I don’t have a whole lot of love for this franchise. Wrong Turn 6 does not change that although I will say it’s amongst the better entries in the series.
Man you guys, John Carpenter’s The Thing sure is a fantastic movie. You seen it? Man, it’s so good you guys. Love that movie. The prequel from 2011? Eh, I can take it or leave it but the Carpenter version? Goooooooood, so gooood you guys! Though there’s another Thing movie, this one from the 1950’s. Carpenter’s version is a remake and the guy is such a huge fan of the original that you can also see the characters watching it in the first Halloween movie. I found a good deal on the DVD, then proceeded to leave it unwatched on a shelf for about a year. It’s time to correct that and finally get my 3 dollars’ worth out of this DVD!
Sooooo yeah despite claiming to be way into horror, I have never actually seen Rosemary’s Baby. What makes that even worse is that I have owned it for quite a while now. I’ve owned it long enough that originally it was supposed to be a part of last year’s marathon but got bumped to this year where it once again almost didn’t make it. I blame the length. I’m not used to horror movies being 135 minutes long and I think that scared me. Finally it was time to sit down and check this one and god damn I am an idiot for not watching this one sooner.
It’s so strange that this movie exists. The first See No Evil came out 8 years ago and as far as I could tell was dreadfully unpopular. Critics and audiences were not fans and I know it couldn’t have made a whole lot of money because I, needing to kill some time, saw this movie at a large cinema on its opening night. I was the only person in the entire theatre. This wasn’t when the movie was on its way out. This was 7 PM on the Friday it opened in one of the most popular theatres in a large city. It was strange and made me feel bad about myself and everything around me. I haven’t thought about the movie since that night and yet here we are with a sequel. I had to watch it because I needed to get some sense of why it exists. Yeah I still have no idea.
Evilspeak is Carrie but with a dude. I mean yes there are certainly unique touches such as the presence of computers and evil books and carnivorous pigs (something Carrie absolutely could have used more of) but for the most part this is Carrie but with Clint Howard instead of Sissy Spacek. That’s not a knock against the movie by any means. If anything Carrie but with a dude and pigs who eat people should be the most ringing endorsement I could ever give this movie.
Haunter once again reminds me how fun it can be to go into a movie knowing literally nothing about it. I remember hearing positive things about the movie last year and it had a very, very brief run at my local cheap theatre but I had largely forgotten about it until I saw it while browsing Netflix. Having just watched The Pact I wasn’t sure I wanted to go into another ghost story this quickly but figured I would start watching it and then decide whether I wanted to keep going. Haunter then proceeded to grab me by the throat and ensure that I would be sticking with it until the very end.
The pull quote for this movie on the blu ray case reads “Alien underwater!” That quote did not instill me with a whole lot of confidence in this movie. Is that seriously the best thing they could find to put on the cover? That’s not even praise for the movie technically; it’s just a very concise summary of it. It would be like if Edge of Tomorrow (or I’m sorry, Live Die Repeat, fucking idiots…) had “Sci-Fi Groundhog Day!” as its choice cover quote. That isn’t anything! This could be grim.
The final five seconds of this movie is currently blowing my mind in about a thousand different ways. Just….what?! I jumped, I laughed, I got ridiculously confused. That….what….I don’t even know how to talk about this movie. I am certainly glad that I watched it but in this moment I honestly can’t even say if I liked it or not.
I always see the poster for The Pact while browsing Netflix and always have a moment’s pause where I think I should fire it up but inevitably I always end up passing it up for Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Man vs Food or Kitten Party or whatever other nonsense I tend to watch on Netflix. Not this time though! This time I saw the poster and I clicked the damn button and I watched the whole damn thing! Turns out, it was pretty worth my time!